INSECURITY

HAVING SELF-DOUBT IN A RELATIONSHIP


FACING CRITICISM WHILE IN LOVE

INSECURITY IS AN INNER FEELING of being threatened and/or inadequate in some ways. We’ve all felt it at one time or another. But while it’s quite normal to have feelings of self-doubt once in a while, CHRONIC INSECURITY can sabotage your success in life and can be particularly damaging to your intimate relationships. Chronic Insecurity robs you of your peace and prevents you from being able to engage with your partner in a relaxed nd authentic way. The actions that come from insecurity—- always asking for reassurance, jealousy, accusing and snooping—- erodes trust , aren’t attractive, and can push a partner away.


ECCENTRICITIES OF INSECURITY

WHILE MANY PEOPLE THINK that insecurity comes from something their partner said or did, the reality is that most insecurity comes from inside ourselves. The feelings can start early in life with an insecure attachment to your parents, or can develop after being hurt or rejected by someone you care about. Insecurities are maintained and built upon when you negatively compare yourself to other people and harshly judged yourself with critical inner dialogue. The majority of relationship insecurity is based on irrational thoughts and fears—- that you are good enough, that you will not be OKAY without a partner, that you will never find anyone better, that you are not truly lovable.


WAYS OF AVOIDING INSECURITY IN LIFE

TAKE STOCK OF YOUR VALUE :
When you feel insecure, you are often focused on something you feel is lacking about you. In most well-matched relationships, each partner brings different qualities and strengths that compliments the other. It is possible to be equal in different ways. To feel more secure in a relationship, it helps to know what you have to offer to the other person. You don’t have to be rich, handsome, or beautiful to offer something—- personality characteristics are far more important to the overall quality of a relationship. Focus on what you offer, instead of what you feel you lack, this will change your perspective. If the other person doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer, that’s his or her loss.
BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM :
When aren’t feeling good about who you are, on the inside, it is natural to want to look outside of yourself for validation. However, trying to be good by getting approval from your partner is a losing situation for any relationship. When your well-being depends on someone else, you gives away all of your power. You get to enjoy the sense of well-being that comes with genuinely liking yourself, and self- confidence is an attractive quality that makes your partner wants to be closer to you.
KEEP YOUR INDEPENDENCE :
A healthy relationship is comprised of 2 people becoming overly enmeshed in a relationship can lead to poor boundaries and a diffuse sense of your own needs. Maintaining your sense of self-identity and taking care of your needs for personal well-being are the keys to keeping a healthy balance in a relationship. Making time for your own friends, interests, and hobbies, maintaining financial independence, and having self-improvement goals, that are separate from your relationship goals.
TRUST IN YOURSELF :
Feeling secure in a relationship depends on trusting the other person but, more importantly, on learning to trust yourself. Trust yourself that no matter what the other person does, you will takes care of yourself. Trust yourself that you won’t ignore your inner voice when it tells you that something isn’t right. Trust yourself not to hide your feelings, trust yourself to make sure your needs are met, and trust yourself that you won’t lose your sense of self-identity. If finding this kind of trust seems very difficult on your own, you may wish to work with a professional who can help you learn how to do this.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT—- BUT IT ISN’T NECESSARY TO BE PERFECT TO BE IN A HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SECURE RELATIONSHIP. WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR ATTENTION OFF OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOURSELF, YOU CAN’T HELP BECOME BETTER, MORE SECURE VERSION OF YOURSELF.