LOVE AND SELF ESTEEM

FOSTERING WORTHINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP


UNDERSTANDING THE ESSENCE AND VALUES OF LOVE

SELF-ESTEEM NOT ONLY AFFECTS how we think about ourselves, but also how much love we’re able to received and how we treat others, especially in intimate relationships. A person’s initial level of self-esteem prior to the relationship predicts partner’s common relationship satisfaction. More specifically, although happiness generally declines slightly over time, this isn’t true for people who enter a relationship with higher level of self-esteem. The seteepest decline is for people whose self-esteem was lower to begin with. Frequently, those relationships won’t last. Even though communicaion skills, emotionality, and stress all influence a relationship, a person’s past experience and personality traits affects how these issues are managed, and therefore, have a greatest bearing on its outcome.


OUR SELF-WORTH TO A RELATIONSHIP

SELF-ESTEEM SUFFERS when you grow up in a dysfunctional family. Often, you don’t have a voice. Your opinions and desires aren’t taken seriously. Parents have usually cool-self-esteem and are unhappy with each other. They themselves neither have nor good model relaionships skills, including cooperation, healthy boundaries, assertiveness and conflict resolution. They maybe abusive, or just indifferent, preoccupied, controlling, interferring,manipulative or inconsistent. Their children’s feelings and personal traits tends to be shamed.

AS A RESULT OF THEIR INSECURITY, shame and impaired self-esteem, children develops an attachment style that, to varying degrees, is anxious or avoidant. Anxiety can leads you to sacrifice your needs and please and accommodate your partners. Due to basic insecurity, you’re preoccupied with the relationship and highly attuned to your partner, worrying that he or she wants less closeness. But because you don’t get your needs met, you become unhappy. Adding to this, you take things personally with a negaive twist, protecting negative outcome. Low self-esteem makes you hide your truth so as not to ” MAKE WAVES, “ which compromises real intimacy. You may also be jealous of your partner’s attention to others and call or text frequently, even when asked not to. Neither styles contributes to satisfying relationships.


COMMUNICATION AND SELF-ESTEEM

CODEPENDENTS, GENERALLY HAVE problems with assertiveness. At the same time, they deny their feelings and needs, due to the fact that they were shamed or ignored in their childhood. They also consciously suppress what they think and feel so as not to anger or alienate their partner and risk criticism or emotional abandonment. Instead, they rely on mind reading, asking questions, caretaking, blaming, lying, criticising, avoiding problems or ignoring, or controlling their partner.

WE ALL HAVE NEEDS FOR BOTH separateness and individuality, as well as for being close and connected. Autonomy requires self-esteem—- both necessary in relationships. It’s an ability to stand on your own and trust and motivate yourself. But when you don’t like yourself, you’re in miserable company spending time alone. IT TAKES COURAGE TO COMMUNICATE IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP—- COURAGE THAT COMES WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE, WHICH ENABLES YOU TO VALUE AND HONOR YOUR FEELINGS AND NEEDS AND RISK CRITICISM OR REJECTION IN VOICING THEM. THIS ALSO MEANS YOU FEEL DESERVING OF LOVE AND ARE COMFORTABLE RECEIVING IT. YOU WOULDN’T WASTE YOUR TIME PURSUING SOMEONE UNAVAILABLE OR PUSH AWAY SOMEONE WHO LOVED YOU AND MET YOUR NEEDS.