SURVIVING BETRAYAL

RESCINDING THE EFFECTS OF BETRAYAL

THERE IS A MARKED DIFFERENCE in preserving an existing relationship and committing to build a new one out of the rubbles. The pain and sorrows that accompanies an anguishing rift in trust does not easily dissipate. Both partners must be fully committed to whatever it takes to learn from what has happened and turn towards a believable future. Even when there are strong feelings of guilt, fear, anger, hurt, insecurity, self-doubt and humiliation, many intimate partners may still has a bond that do not want to end. Their relationship may still be deeply connected to friends, families, religious or spiritual ideals, financial stability, and their mutual important history. They may also abhor facing social judgment that can span from support to shame. Both partners struggle to balance between continuing a besieged relationship and experiencing the grip of splitting up.

BETRAYAL COMES IN MANY FORMS. When couples look back in time, they realize that some might have been predictable. Others seems to have crept up, without the partners realizing that an inevitable breach is about to occur. Even when a relationships seems healthy and unassailable, they can fall prey to a betrayal that cannot be easily predicted or explained.


DERIDING AVOIDANCE OF BETRAYAL

MOST PEOPLE HOLDS THE WORD BETRAYAL as synonymous with infidelity. Perhaps, that is because it is the most common form of broken trust in an intimate relationship, and it represents the most basic elements that destroy faith between intimate partners. Committed partners traditionally promises one another that they will remain faithful for the duration of their relationship and they use that sacred agreement as the foundation of all other trusts between them. When one breaks that promise, the fall out from that deception infiltrates the sexual, emotional, mental, and spiritual bond that couple have based their love upon.

THOUGH BOTH MEN AND WOMEN share many overlapping emotional responses to being betrayed by a partner, men often experienced the loss differently. Even if they initially try to see their partner as having been taken advantage of by that other man, they eventually come to the realization that their deceiving partner have to have had a part in her decision, making it harder to forgive him or her.

THE STING OF BEING REPLACED and the fear of loss, often eclipse their legitimate feelings of betrayal. Those confusing contradictions are most often manifested in alternate feelings of rage and grief.


FACING THE CHALLENGES OF BETRAYAL

THOUGH INFIDELITY ENCOMPASSES AREAS that are familiar to most, there are other breaches of trust that can be as equally destructive to a relationship. They produce similar feelings and reactions and the same challenges for couples to overcome. Then, if betrayal is so destructive to most relationships, do couples find themselves so often enmeshed in them, and what do they need to understand to not only make them less likely to happen but possible to overcome ?

WHEN A COUPLE COMMIT to a relationship, they agree to follow the ethics, values, and behaviors that will ensure that their relationship continues to thrive. Depending on how well they know themselves and each other, they make those agreement in good faith, and trust that each other will live by them.

EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS UNIQUE, AND EACH STORY IS DIFFERENT. NO ONE SHOULD FEEL GUILTY IF HE OR SHE CANNOT GET BEYOND THE AFTERMATH OF A SEVERE BREACH OF TRUST. BY THE SAME TOKEN, NO PARTNER WHO STILL LOVED THE OTHER SHOULD RUN FROM A POTENTIALLY QUALITY RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS TEMPORARILY LOST ITS MOORINGS. THOUGH THE PATH TO A THRIVING RECONCILIATION CAN BE DIFFICULT AND LONG, MANY INTIMATE PARTNERS WHO HAVE FALLEN INTO THE CHASM OF BROKEN TRUST, NOT ONLY CAN FIND THEIR WAY BACK TO EACH OTHER, BUT CAN DO SO WITH A NEW AND DEEPER FAITH IN THEMSELVES AND THEIR NEW RELATIONSHIP.