WHEN IT’S TIME TO LEAVE

THE GRIEF WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES YOU


THE PAIN OF LETTING GO

OVER THE COURSE OF TIME, it seems love has gotten all mixed up with pain and grief. You realized your pain has become the expression of love lost, the way you honor your loved one, the one consistent link between life with them and life without them, and an element of proof that their life an indelible mark on those they leave behind. Apparently, while you were wishing the pain of grief away, it turned into something else entirely. Maybe, in some ways, grief has even come to define you in the context of life after loss. Who are you if you are not someone grieving the loss of someone special ? And who are they if you are not here in life, holding vigil for them ?


THOUGHTS AND CONCERNS ABOUT GRIEF

YOUR SUFFERING IS A SIGN of how much your loved one meant to you. If you’re not suffering, your love for them must be diminishing. The only thing that keeps you connected to your loved ones and keeps their memory alive, is the deep pain of your grief. Any little piece of that grief that disappear is another piece of your loved one disappearing. It is common to feel extremely conflicted about feeling better and, although it may not seem rational, it is also common to gravitate towards the pain. When it feels like the alternative to feeling pain is losing connection to your loved ones, what other choice do you have ?

YOUR LOVED ONE’S MEMORY lives in you. It lives in the stories that you tell people about your loved one. It lives in the memories you shared together with friends and families. It lives in things that your loved ones taught you. It lives in the things you do in their honor and memory. It lives in every silly little things you do to stay connected to them—- from taking photographs, to listening to music they loved, to whatever other things you do to continue the bonds. Reminders, once equalled sad—- so it isn’t a far leap to think if the pain starts to go away that these things mean less to you—- which meansyour loved one’s memory is disappearing—- which means your loved to them is diminishing.

WE, AS HUMANS ARE CAPABLE of some amazing things, like resilience and adaptability. As you get farther from your loss, the pain starts to ease just a bit. What you must realize is, not that your loved one is disappearing as your pain diminishes; rather, you are learning to live with the memory of your loved one in a different way.


OVERCOMING SORROWS

EMBRACE THE IDEA THAT as pain diminishes, you may actually find more space to continue bonds and to keep your loved one’s memory alive. Make a conscious decision to continue bonds, your connection to your loved ones can be part of daily life, even as you move forward and find a ” NEW NORMAL. ” So, figure out what that looks like for you, and use these ideas to ger started. You maybe surprised to see that, as you find positive ways to continue bonds with the person you have lost, you can let go of more and more of the pain without fear that you are letting go of the person you love.

THEN ONE DAY, YOU LOOK AROUND and realize you can see a little further in front of you, things are more colorful, and they’re coming into clarity. The days start getting a little bit easier, the nights a little more restful. The tears come a little less, and things like laughter, joy, and gratitude are once again a part of your emotional repertoire.

THE SMALLEST SILVER OF LIGHTS CUTS INTO THE DARK AND YOU REALIZE THAT THIS MUST BE WHAT ” HEALING FROM GRIEF ” LOOKS LIKE. YOU ALSO REALIZE, THAT PROGRESS DOESN’T FEEL AS SWEET AS YOU IMAGINED. ✍ 👍 💥