Relationship goals

BREAKING THE SORROWS IN LOVE

WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE WALKS AWAY like there was nothing between the 2 of you, the chemical reactions that go on inside the unrequited lover’s body are similar to the loss of a loved one. You feel unconsolably hut, broken and shattered. Although emotional pain is different from physical pain, a break-up or rejection literally causes your heart in a way that you feel it breaking inside your chest like it was physically happening. Then again you are angry at yourself being in that situation and resent to destructive means, like smoking, drinking and extreme cases, even attempt to commit suicide. You start planning ways to reverse the past and get the person back into the relationship. It’s not a matter of chance that rejection feels like death of a loved one. When we lose someone, we grieve. But death is not the only trigger. Any kid of loss causes grief: the loss of a job, a home, a limb, a relationship.

IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND GRIEF, we need to understand 5 stages that it sinks in—– denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Initially, it is difficult for an unrequited lover to accept reality. They most simply refuse to believe it. With morning light, senses returns. Lookin at the situation clearly and analyzing the causes and reactions of the past situations leads anger—- at themselves, for their actions, or at the partner, for having left them alone, or rejecting them.

IN MOST CASES, THE ONES WHO truly loves, gets over the past sooner and tries to reconcile. However, the relationship is not just meant to be, and they learn that soon enough ! Once they realize things are not going to change, sadness sets in. The period for mourning is different for everyone, but time heals, and it does !


LETTING GO OF PAIN AND SORROWS

THESE ORDER OF OCCURENCE OF THESE STAGES doesn’t necessarily have to be the same. Each stage may occur repeatedly and simultaneously, and may even return years after the person has consciously moved on. Sometimes, it is close to impossible to let go of the person and memories. When you grieve for a loss for a very long time, your condition is called ” Pathological(or complicated) Grief. “

POINTS IN DECIPHERING THE CONDITIONS OF GRIEF

You cannot stop thinking about what leads to the loss.
Everything happening around you inadvertently made you think about the object of love.
You experience extreme sorrow, tearfulness or desire for the lost relationship.
You keep away from news of your beloved, because it doesn’t stop emotionally accepting you.
You often dream about good old days or about the person.
You cannot stop feeling pity for yourself and are often cursing destiny for the loss.
You find it difficult to trust and love people in general.
You find it difficult to find joy in day-to-day activities.

IMPACT OF A LOVE LOST IN OUR LIVES

AS UNREQUITED LOVERS OBSESSIVELY holds on to a loss in complicated grief, the condition may end up becoming a serious obsessive compulsive disorder. LOW LEVEL OF SEROTONIN MAY TRIGGER OVER-THINKING, LONGING, CRIPPLING ANXIETY, AND THE PHYSICAL YEARNING FOR THE OBJECT OF LOVE. THE DOPAMINE REACTION TRIGGGERED BY THIS SORT OF LONGING LEADS THE BROKEN LOVER TO BEG FORGIVENESS AND EVEN SUBMIT TO UNREASONABLE DEMANDS OF THE LOVE OBJECT.

ON THE OTHER HAND, WHEN THERE IS NO CHANCE OF BARGAINING TO REACH AN AGREEMENT, THEY OFTEN DISPLAYS FITS OF FEROCIOUS ANGER OVER THE LOSS.

HAVING SELF-DOUBT IN A RELATIONSHIP


FACING CRITICISM WHILE IN LOVE

INSECURITY IS AN INNER FEELING of being threatened and/or inadequate in some ways. We’ve all felt it at one time or another. But while it’s quite normal to have feelings of self-doubt once in a while, CHRONIC INSECURITY can sabotage your success in life and can be particularly damaging to your intimate relationships. Chronic Insecurity robs you of your peace and prevents you from being able to engage with your partner in a relaxed nd authentic way. The actions that come from insecurity—- always asking for reassurance, jealousy, accusing and snooping—- erodes trust , aren’t attractive, and can push a partner away.


ECCENTRICITIES OF INSECURITY

WHILE MANY PEOPLE THINK that insecurity comes from something their partner said or did, the reality is that most insecurity comes from inside ourselves. The feelings can start early in life with an insecure attachment to your parents, or can develop after being hurt or rejected by someone you care about. Insecurities are maintained and built upon when you negatively compare yourself to other people and harshly judged yourself with critical inner dialogue. The majority of relationship insecurity is based on irrational thoughts and fears—- that you are good enough, that you will not be OKAY without a partner, that you will never find anyone better, that you are not truly lovable.


WAYS OF AVOIDING INSECURITY IN LIFE

TAKE STOCK OF YOUR VALUE :
When you feel insecure, you are often focused on something you feel is lacking about you. In most well-matched relationships, each partner brings different qualities and strengths that compliments the other. It is possible to be equal in different ways. To feel more secure in a relationship, it helps to know what you have to offer to the other person. You don’t have to be rich, handsome, or beautiful to offer something—- personality characteristics are far more important to the overall quality of a relationship. Focus on what you offer, instead of what you feel you lack, this will change your perspective. If the other person doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer, that’s his or her loss.
BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM :
When aren’t feeling good about who you are, on the inside, it is natural to want to look outside of yourself for validation. However, trying to be good by getting approval from your partner is a losing situation for any relationship. When your well-being depends on someone else, you gives away all of your power. You get to enjoy the sense of well-being that comes with genuinely liking yourself, and self- confidence is an attractive quality that makes your partner wants to be closer to you.
KEEP YOUR INDEPENDENCE :
A healthy relationship is comprised of 2 people becoming overly enmeshed in a relationship can lead to poor boundaries and a diffuse sense of your own needs. Maintaining your sense of self-identity and taking care of your needs for personal well-being are the keys to keeping a healthy balance in a relationship. Making time for your own friends, interests, and hobbies, maintaining financial independence, and having self-improvement goals, that are separate from your relationship goals.
TRUST IN YOURSELF :
Feeling secure in a relationship depends on trusting the other person but, more importantly, on learning to trust yourself. Trust yourself that no matter what the other person does, you will takes care of yourself. Trust yourself that you won’t ignore your inner voice when it tells you that something isn’t right. Trust yourself not to hide your feelings, trust yourself to make sure your needs are met, and trust yourself that you won’t lose your sense of self-identity. If finding this kind of trust seems very difficult on your own, you may wish to work with a professional who can help you learn how to do this.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT—- BUT IT ISN’T NECESSARY TO BE PERFECT TO BE IN A HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SECURE RELATIONSHIP. WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR ATTENTION OFF OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOURSELF, YOU CAN’T HELP BECOME BETTER, MORE SECURE VERSION OF YOURSELF.

UNDERSTANDING LOVE IN OUR LIVES

LOVE IS AN ABSTRACT NOUN which means for some it is a word unattached to anything real or sensible, that is all, for others, it is a means by which our being—- our self and its world—- are irrevocably affected once we are “TOUCHED BY LOVE.” Some have sought to analyze it, others have preferred to leave it in the realm of ineffable. Yet it is undesirable that love plays an enormous and unavoidable role in our several cultures, it is a constant theme for youth. Philosophically, the nature of love has since the time been a mainstay in philosophy, producing theories that range from the materialistic conception of love as purely a physical phenomenon—- an animalistic or genetic urge that dictates our behavior—- to theories of love as an intensely spiritual affair that in its highest, permits us to touch divinity.

HISTORICALLY, IN OUR TRADITIONS love provides us an enormously influential and attractive notion that is characterized by a series of elevations, in which animalistic desires or base lust is superseded by a more intellectual conception, which is also supposed by what maybe construed by a theological vision that transcends sensual attraction and mutuality. The philosophical treatment of love transcends a variety of sub-diciplines, including epistemology, metaphysics, religion, politics, human nature, and ethics. Often statements or arguments concerning love, its nature and role in human life, connects to one or all central theories of philosophy, and is often compared with, or examined in the context of, the philosophies of sex and gender, as well as body and intentionality. The task of a philosophy of love is to present the appropriate issue on a cogent manner, drawing on relevant theories of human nature, desire, ethics, ETC.


CONCEPTUAL CONSIDERATIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE

PRESUMING THAT LOVE HAS A NATURE, it should be to some extent, at least, describable within the concepts of language. But what it means by an appropriate language of description maybe as philosophically beguiling as love itself. Such considerations invokes the philosophy of language of the relevance and appropriateness of meanings, but they also provides the analysis of ” LOVE “ with its first principles. Does it exist and if so, is it knowable and comprehensible to others, as understood in phrases: “I AM IN LOVE,” “I LOVE YOU,” but what ” LOVE ” means in these sentences may not be analyzed further: that is, the concept ” LOVE ” is irreducible—- an axiomatic, or self-evident, state of affairs that warrants no further intellectual intrusion, an apodictic category perhaps, that can be recognized.

THE EPISTEMOLOGY OF LOVE asks how we may know love, how we may understand it, whether it is possible or plausible to make statements about others or ourselves being in love. Again, the epistemology of love is intimately connected to the philosophy of language and theories of the emotions. If love is purely an emotional condition, it is plausible to argue that it remains a private phenomenon incapable of being accessed by others, except through an expression of language, and language maybe a poor indicator of an emotional state both for the listener and the subject.


CORRELATING PHILOSOPHICAL LOVE

IF LOVE DOES POSSESSES ” A NATURE “ which is identifiable by some means—- a personal expression, a discernable pattern of behavior or other activity, it can still be asked whether that nature can be properly understood by humanity. Love may have a nature, yet may not possess the proper intellectual capacity to understand it accordingly, we may gain glimpses, perhaps of the essence, but its true nature being forever beyond humanity’s intellectual grasp. Accordingly, love maybe partially described or hinted at in a dialectic or analytical exposition of the concept but never understood in itself. Love may therefore become an epiphenomenal entity, generated by human actions in loving, but never grasp by the mind or language.

LOVE MAYBE SO DESCRIBED AS A PLATONIC FORM, BELONGING TO THE HIGHER REALM OF TRANSCENDENTAL CONCEPTS THAT MORTALS CAN BARELY CONCEIVED OF IN THEIR PURITY, CATCHING ONLY GLIMPSES OF THE FORM’S CONCEPTUAL SHADOWS THAT LOGIC AND REASON UNVEILS OR DICTATES. THE UNINITIATED, THE INCAPABLE, OR THE YOUNG INEXPERIENCED—- THOSE WHO ARE NOT ROMANTIC TROBADOURS—- ARE DOOMED ONLY TO FEEL PHYSICAL DESIRE. THIS SEPARATION OF LOVE FROM PHYSICAL DESIRE HAS FURTHER IMPLICATION CONCERNING THE NATURE OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY IN LOVE

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE SINGLE most important and influential factor in determining with whom you form romantic relationship ? You might be surprised to learn that the answer is simple: the person with whom you have the most contact. This most important factor is PROXIMITY. You are most likely to be friends with people you have contact with. It is simply easier to form relationships with people you see often because you have the opportunity to get to know them. One of the reasons why PROXIMITY matters to ATTRACTION, is that it breeds FAMILIARITY, people are more attracted to that which is familiar. Just being around with someone or being exposed to them increases the likelihood that we will be attracted to them. We also tend to feel safe with familiar people, as it is likely we know what to expect from them. There is certain comfort in knowing what to expect from others; consequently, research suggests that we like what is familiar. While this is often in the subconscious level, this is one of the most basic principles of attraction.

SIMILARITY IS ANOTHER FACTOR that influences who we form relationships with. We are more likely to become friends or lovers with someone who is similar to us in background, attitudes and lifestyles. In fact, there is no evidence that opposites attract. Rather, we are attracted to people who are most like us. Why do you think we are attracted to people who are similar to us ? Sharing things in common will certainly makes it easy to get along with others and form connections. When you and another person share similar music, tastes, hobbies, food preferences and so on, deciding what to do with your time together might be easy.


OUR ASSOCIATION AMONG OTHERS

HOMOPHILY IS THE TENDENCY for people to form social networks; including friendships, marriage, business relationships and many other type of relationships with others who are similar. But, homophily limits our exposure to diversity. By forming relationships only with people who are similar to us, we will have homogenous groups and will not be exposed to different points of view. In other words, because we are likely to spend time with those who are most like ourselves, we will have limited exposure to those who are different from ourselves, including people of different races, ethnicities, social-economic states, and life situations.

ONCE WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS with people, we deserve reciprocity. We contribute to relationships, but we expect to receive benefits as well. That is we want our relationships to be a 2 way street. We more likely to like and engage with people who likes us back. Self-disclosure is part of the 2 way street. We form more intimate connections with people with whom we disclose important information about ourselves. Indeed, self-disclosure is a healthy characteristics of a healthy intimate relationship, as long as the information disclosed is constant with our views.


THEORIES AND LOGIC IN PRACTICE

WE TYPICALLY LOVE THE PEOPLE with whom we form relationships, but the type of love we have for our families, friends and lovers differs. A healthy relationships will have all the 3 components of love—- INTIMACY, PASSION, AND COMMITMENT which is described as CONSUMMATE LOVE. HOWEVER, DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF LOVE MIGHT BE MORE PREVALENT AT DIFFERENT LIFE STAGES. CORELATIONS CAN IDENTIFY NTERESTING RELATIONSHIPS, BUT THEY USUALLY CANNOT PROVIDE STRONG EVIDENCE FOR WHY THAT RELATIONSHIP EXISTS.

WHEN LOVE IS LEFT BEHIND

IF YOU’RE DISCONTENTED in a relationship or a go from one to another or even remain unhappily alone, you maybe caught in a worsening cycle of abandonment. People think abandonment as something physical, like neglect, loss of physical closeness due to death, divorce and illness is also an emotional abandonment. It also happens when our needs aren’t being met in the relationship—- including in our relationship with ourselves. And although the loss of physical closeness can lead to emotional abandonment, the reverse isn’t true. Physical closeness doesn’t mean our emotional needs will be met. Emotional abandonment may happen when the other person is right beside us. If we’re not aware of our emotional needs, we won’t understand what’s missing in our relationship with ourselves and with others. We may just feel blue, lonely, apathetic, irritable, angry or tired. We have many emotional needs in intimate relationships. They include the following, VIZ:

For affection
For love
For companionship
To be listened to and understood
To be nurtured
To be appreciated
To be valued

FACING EMOTIONAL NEEDS

TO GET THEM MET, NOT ONLY DO WE NEED to know what they are, but we must value them and often actually ask for them to be met. Most people think they shouldn’t have to ask, but after the first rush of romance when strong hormones drive behaviors, many couples get into routines that lack intimacy. They may even say loving things to each other or “ACT” romantic, but there’s no intimacy and closeness. You could be a victim of “LOVE SOMEONE.” As soon as the “ACT” is over, they leave or return to their disconnected, lovely state. Of course, when there is high conflict, abuse, addiction, or infidelity, these emotional needs go unmet. When one partner is addicted, the other may feel neglected, because the addiction comes first.

OTHER PEOPLE ARE EMOTIONAL, abandoning relationships that replicate their childhood experiences, from one of both of their parents. Children needs to be loved and accepted by both parents. It’s enough for a parent to say “I LOVE YOU.” Parents needs to show by their words and actions that they want a relationship with their child for who he or she is, respecting his or her individuality. That includes empathy and respect for their child’s personality, feelings and needs—- not merely loving a child as an extension of the parent.


BREAKING THE CHALLENGES

FEELING WORTHY OF LOVE is essential to attracting and maintaining it. In the same way that we might shun a compliment we don’t feel we deserve, we will not be interested and able to sustain a relationship with someone is generous in loving us. Feeling unworthy originated in our early relationships with our parents. Many people have no negative feelings towards their parents and may in fact, have a close and loving adult relationship with them. However, it’s not enough that we forgive our parents. Healing includes rehabilitating the beliefs and inner voices of our parents that live in our minds and run our lives.

BREAKING THE CYCLES MEANS being a good parents to ourselves—- loving ourselves in all ways. If this last stop isn’t sufficient, we will still be looking outside ourselves to someone else to makes us happy. Although a good relationship can improve our sense of well-being, there are always time when partners needs space or needy and unavailable. BEING ABLE TO CARE FOR OURSELVES ALLOWS US TO HOLD THE SPACE FOR OUR PARTNER AND TO TAKES CARE OF OURSELVES. WHETHER OR NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, THAT’S THE ULTIMATE REMEDY AGAINST SPIRALLING INTO DEPRESSION.

UNDERSTANDING LOVE WITH AN INTROVERT

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN INTROVERT ? Or maybe you are in a relationship with someone you consider an introvert ? If you are an introvert it’s easy to assume an extrovert in our life could never understand how we view love. But let’s give them some insight as to how we view love and our relationship. Time to help them out in a bit at deciphering the magical mysterious being we introverts are ! When you love that person, in order to clearly express your needs for alone time to your partner, you must show them that you cares. Everyone has their own “LOVE LANGUAGE,” which is their way of showing the people in their lives that they care deeply about them. These love languages are as varied and unique as the languages people speak from country to country. Even so, there are several actions which, when performed by someone with an introverted personality, should makes you feel especially appreciative in the knowledge that they love you—- so much so that they would go against their usual patterns of behavior.


SIGNS THAT AN INTROVERT CARES FOR YOU

THEY ACCEPT YOUR INVITATION :
Introverts accepts social i nvitations with caution, picking and choosing what’s important to attend. So, if they accept yours, that should tell you something: YOU’RE IMPORTANT. They went out of their way to be there for you, to spend time with you, to celebrate your victories and joys. The fact that they willingly come to an event they expected to be less than enjoyable—- where they knew they would quickly become mentally and emotionally drained—- is a selfless act of love directed towards you personally.
THEY COMMUNICATE ACCORDINGLY :
Many introverts don’t like to speak on the phone, unless they absolutely have to—–perhaps even utilizing the wonderful tool that is the internet in order to takes care of life’s necessities. Depending on each individual introverts’ willingness to speak on the phone, taking your call or calling you of their own accord, can also be a sign of affection. It’s a sign that they actually enjoy speaking with you when they can, even if the phone isn’t preferable face-to-face conversation. The more present and engaged an introvert is with you over the phone, the more likely it is that you’re one of the lucky few who have gained admittance into the introvert’s inner world.
SENSITIVITY TO CONFLICTS :
In fact, many introverts struggle to meet conflict head-on because arguing can be overstimulating and stressful. Tread gently, some introverts find it helpful to write about their feelings or to step away from the conflict for a bit to process things. Don’t take it personally if we need a brief time-out.
ALL THE QUALITY TIME COUNTS :
This means time with you and you only—- no friends, family members, or kids around for a while. We maybe quiet in a group, but we can be masterful at connecting one-on-one. We’ll use this time to try to reconnect you authentically. ” WHEN AN INTROVERT CARES ABOUT SOMEONE, HE OR SHE ALSO WANTS CONTACT, NOT SO MUCH TO KEEP UP WITH THE EVENTS OF THE OTHER PERSON’S LIFE, BUT TO KEEP UP WITH WHAT’S INSIDE : THE EVOLUTION OF IDEAS, VALUES, THOUGHTS, AND FEELINGS.

FALLING IN LOVE ON SOMEONE’S IDEAS

FANTASIES OFTEN STARTS the same ways, as something innocent. They are beautiful desires, benign, the kind of things that just makes you giddy and full of hope. Maybe it’s a friend you’ve been secretly harboring feelings for. Maybe a celebrity, or really just the character they play on screen. Someone who becomes this unattainable dream. someone you just know would change your life. Someone to represent your ideal future. And so, that’s what they become. You decide if you could just get this person, this fantasy, everything else would fall into place. You’ll be happy. You’ll live the life you want.

BUT WHENEVER WE DO this, the person we’ve done this to is stripped of being an actual person. They become an idea. An idea of what you want, what you’ve been desperately hungry for. You decide who they are without even asking. When you love the idea of someone, you’re setting yourself up to be disappointed. You’ve crafted such a grandiose dream that there’s just no way the real person can live up to it. Not even the most wonderful person can compete with the DREAM VERSION you’ve created.


CAN THEY BE YOUR SOUL MATE ?

IF YOU CONTINUE THIS PATTERN, from experience, you’re only sabotaging the chance at something real. You’re running the risk of never actually getting to know someone. And that’s the only way to ever achieve true intimacy. That’s the only way to truly fall in love. It’s not that you should settle. It’s good to know what you want. It’s good to have standards for how you expect to be treated. But date someone so you can learn who they are. Don’t go in thinking you have them all figured out. Don’t hold them to an idea of what you HOPE they are. That’s unfair in so many ways. And that’s the good way to remain forever alone. When you love the idea of someone, you aren’t in love. Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself because, falling for someone is terrifying. Maybe you’re scared to actually open up. An ides will always be just that: an idea.


HOLDING ON TO SUPPOSITION

IT’S SO EASY TO BUILD THIS ideal image of who you wanted to be, with him or her by your side. A large part of you becoming that person is dependent on who you expected him or her to be, and the role you needed him or her to play in building your life together. MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU NEEDED CONSISTENCY IN EVERYTHING: HIS OR HER BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU AND LIFE IN GENERAL, YOUR FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, AS WELL AS YOUR GROWTH THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAINTAIN SIMILAR VELOCITY IN CORRELATION TO EACH OTHER. UNFORTUNATELY, REALITY DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT.

AVOIDING UNDESIRABLE LOVE

FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO BE VALUABLE, it has to be “going somewhere.” If your relationship is “going nowhere” you have to get out as quickly as possible. Of course, life is even more complicated and so too is the EXPERT commentary on it: People rely mostly on advices when making choices about a significant relationship. As each person is an individual—- distinct, so too is each romantic relationship. One can never know what is truly going on between 2 people and we’d all be much better off if we keep this in mind.

CONSISTENTLY, BECAUSE IT IS INEVITABLE that in any on-going romantic engagement, one is going to be deeply hurt at some point. What ultimately counts is if and how the people involved repair—- and share the hurt.


INDICATORS OF A LOVE GONE BAD

TO DESERVE BETTER :
Clearly, this reflects one party’s dissatisfaction with the behavior or characteristics of the other. It also conveys an idea what others presume with respect to our choice of a partner. The crucial point is that if it to “deserve better”—- indicates that someone else is disapproving and tells us that at least one party is feeling disappointed. Really we don’t know much about what’s up. Understanding what’s going on when someone feels disappointed—- not just placing blame—- is crucial.
CHEATING AND MONOGAMY :
Focusing for the moment on only those relationships in which there has been an explicit agreement about sexual fidelity is a curiously overwrought aspect to the indignation and injury that accompanies this infraction. Humiliation is the public aspect of the experience. Shame is the feeling that something is wrong. Couples are made to hew a very narrow conception of what is acceptable between 2 people who love each other.
AS A RELATIONSHIP LEADS “TO SOMEWHERE.” :
The magical location is typically understood as a permanent monogamous relationship—- generally, marriage—- often with children. Again, using a single, confining standard to determine what constitutes a valuable relationships leaves too many people outside the limits of what is permissible.

OVERCOMING A LOVE MISTAKEN

RELATIONSHIP DO GO BACK and that is just the way it is. People have very diverse personalities and not everyone is going to get along. Personalities will ultimately clash and people will have different set of beliefs and morals. This is when it is time to look for someone who is more compatible. There should be love, respect, tolerance, and patience in a healthy relationship. If someone starts to feel a sense of hate towards their significant other, then that is a sign to get out right away before it becomes lethal to both partners.

LOVE AND HATE ARE PASSIONS AND AS SUCH SOMEWHAT BEYOND THE CONTROL OF THE PERSON EXPERIENCING THIS EMOTIONS. WHEN A RELATIONSHIP HAS GONE BAD, THE SAME OR GREATER INTENSITY OF HATE IS EXPERIENCED TOWARDS THE WAYWARD LOVER. A PERSON ACTING OUT OF THIS FEELINGS IS AGAIN SOMEWHAT “OUT OF CONTROL” AND MAYBE TOTALLY FOCUSED ON HIS OR HER ANGER RATHER THAN REALITY.

BEING THOUGHTFUL TO SOMEONE WE LOVE


A VERY DEEP THOUGHTS OF YOUR PARTNER

OFTENTIMES, OUR PARTNERS TELLS US what it is they are longing for from us, but for whatever reason, we don’t hear them, or we have our minds in some place else, and we forget too easily. A little thoughtfulness is something we all needs in our lives. It will makes your relationships, and your lives, a better place to be. Thoughtfulness doesn’t require anything more than acknowledging something that’s important to the one you love. If your mate opens up to you about something that’s hurting him or her, or causing stress, be sure you’re really listening. Your partner always wants to know that you care about what’s going on.


UNDERSTANDING TRUE THOUGHTFULNESS

TRUE THOUGHTFULNESS COMES FROM DEEP within the core of your heart. When you really love someone, you want them to know it; those acts of thoughtfulness are a great way to show that you cares. Your mate will feel it in a way that will deepen the intimacy in your relationship. There are many ways to show you cares, and one of the best is a simple verbal reminder that you love your partner. Saying the 3 little words “I LOVE UOU” is not only thoughtful, but also reinforcing, and it will make your mate feel better, no matter what is going on.

WHEN SOMEONE IS THOUGHTFUL ENOUGH to be there for you through the little inconveniences that life throws at us, you can pretty much count on that person being there for you when you really needs him or her. There is nothing more comforting than having the love of your life by your side when things go wrong.


VALUES OF THOUGHTFULNESS

ONE OF THE BEST PART OF THOUGHTFULNESS is that when it becomes integrated with your heart and soul, you will feel as good than the person you are being thoughtful towards. THE REAL BEAUTY IS THAT THE BEHAVIOR GETS STRONGER EVERYTIME YOU USE IT. KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE A THOUGHTFUL PARTNER, MAKES GETTING THROUGH THOSE ROUGH PATCHES EASIER, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MATE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU, NO MATTER WHAT. ✍ 👍 💥 ✨ ✅

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP


BASIC IDEAS IN LOVE CONSCIOUSNESS

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE[EQ] is the secret of lasting intimae relationship, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes—- large and small—- that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others. By building your emotional intelligence[EQ], you’ll have the sensitivity that each of us is always seeking in a significant other. You’ll automatically sense through active awareness and sympathy, the little shifts and dynamics of your romance that signals a need for actions.

WE HAVE THE POTENTIAL to attain the kind of love we all dream of—- deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment and self caring—- simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experience. But to reach the height of romance, we need all the skills of a high EQ: sharp emotional awareness to avoid mistaking information or just for lasting love, acceptance to experience emotions that could harm a relationship if left to fester; and a vigilant active awareness to appraise us of what working and what is not.


BUILDING EMOTIONAL ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

WE DON’T HAVE TO CHOOSE the wrong lovers, ends up in multiple failed marriages, or let the romance seeps out of our long-term relationships. We don’t have to let conflicting needs and wants to come between 2 people who love each other. We don’t have to resign ourselves to boredom or bickering in our love lives. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of—- deep intimacy and mutual kindness, real committed soulful caring—- simply because of empathy and our innate ability to share emotional experience. But to achieve those relationship goals, we need all the skills of a high EQ :

ASTUTE EMOTIONAL WARENESS to avoid mistaking infatuation or lust for lasting love
ACCEPTANCE TO EXPERIENCE emotions that could harm a relationship if left to fester
VIGILANT ACTIVE AWARENESS to appraise us of what’s working and what is not.
FORTUNATELY, YOUR EQ doesn’t need to have peaked before you embarked on love. In fact, for many people, falling in love serves as motivation for re-educating the heart. That’s why some of the most deeply passionate lovers are. They discover that 2 high EQs adds up to a romance that never stops growing, never loses excitement, and always strengthens them both, individually as well as collectively.


FACING CHANGES AND CHALLENGES

WHEN YOU RIDE OUT your fear of change, you discover that difference does not necessarily mean worse. Things often comes out better than ever on the other side of change. Relationships are organisms themselves, and by nature must change. Any relationships not nudged towards the kind of growth you want, will drift into changes of another kind—- maybe one you don’t want. Your ability to embrace change pays off in courage and optimism. Ask yourself, does your lover needs something new from you ? Do you need to schedule some time to re-evaluate together ? Are external influences demanding a change in your respective roles ? Without EQ such questions are often just too scary to face, so much lovers ignore signals of change until it’s too late.

YOUR COURAGE AND OPTIMISM allows you to view dilemmas not as problems, but as challenging opportunities. How creative the 2 of you be ? When you don’t need to blame each other for your emotions, you’re not controlled by negative emotional memories, and you’re alert not to repeat the same old mistakes.

WHEN YOU HAVE A HIGH EQ, YOU’RE LIBERATED FROM RUTS AND RESIGNATION, AND YOU CAN GET DOWN TO RESOURCEFUL PROBLEM SOLVING. YOU CAN MAKE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND UNAVOIDABLE CRISIS, AS INVITATIONS TO FIND EACH OTHER, CHALLENGES TO GET CLOSER AND EMERGE INDIVIDUALITY AND COLLECTIVELY STRONGER. ✍✍ 💢 💥 ✨ ✅